When Nap Time Becomes Rest time…
It was a sad day when my eldest didn’t feel the need to nap in the day anymore. Admittedly, he was 4 when it happened; much later than many, but never the less, a time of change (mostly for me!) His sister wasn’t far behind giving up her day sleeps at nearly 3 years old… but there are definitely things one can put in place to ensure your sanity stays in tact!
It’s always going to be a little tricky… but here are a few things that helped us navigate this time.
Toilet first – sounds obvious, but easily forgotten and really annoying when you finally sit down with your tea to head that little rat-a-tat-tat on the door! I don’t just mean a wee – if you have a middle-of-the-day pooper, don’t try putting them in for rest time if they haven’t gone yet. Get them doing whatever activity it is that brings it on before it’s time for rest time! (For one of mine it’s backyard play and for the other it’s the duplo table 🤷♀️) If you are still potty training, use pull ups or leave a potty in the corner of the room if that takes the stress out of it (for you or them)
From the get-go, determine that this is going to be sacred ‘you’ time – that there has to be some point of rest and separation during the day and THIS IS IT! You determine how long that will be, and it may be a case of starting smaller (5-10 mins for a child who isn’t used to individual play) and building up to 45 mins/1 hour over time.
Your toddler/preschooler may appear to no longer need day sleeps, but I’ve found that even if they go for a few weeks, it tends to be a couple of months of dancing to and fro – needing sleeps here and there.
The more you force the point of “sleep”, the more they’ll resist it.
In those early days of transitioning to no day sleep, ‘sleep wins’ often come from -
Catching them before they get a second wind.
Telling them they don’t have to sleep – just “rest your eyes” while listening to music or a story/reading books.
Giving them something to look forward to, if they sleep eg favourite activity, outing or afternoon snack.
Rest Time – Make it special
We coined it “Just Jesse Time” (a friend came up with that actually) – this made it about him having a special time, rather than me trying to get rid of him (in his eyes) and he loved his special Just Jesse Time.
Use audio stimulation to keep them occupied – a favourite playlist or audio stories. We love the ABC Kids Listen app, particularly Story Time.
Note: we have a no-screen policy in the rooms, so instead of being able to touch/dictate what’s being listened to, we choose it before quiet time then the speaker is taken into the room.
Give them a timer so they know how long they have to go (make sure this is out of reach but not sight). If you think about it, none of us like being put somewhere when we have no concept of how long it will be for. I found these cheap kitchen timers on eBay or Amazon that give the kids a sense of time without them having to read.
Just search ‘kitchen timer’ in ebay
When we use the ABC Kids listen app, my kids know that they stay lying down listening until the first episode is finished (half an hour) then they can get up and play quietly/do some quiet activities. Rest time is actually really important for their little brains and bodies at this point of their development, so we try and get it in there.
Get some activity boxes together – things they don’t get to play with at other times of the day. These don’t have to be expensive and they will save you from countless visits due to boredom.
Things you can include –
– sticker activity
– colouring book and pencils/crayons
– puzzle
– some kind of fine motor activity eg beading/threading, pegs/clips
– a couple of different books
– photo puzzles – print a fave photo and chop it up! They love it because it’s meaningful
– magnet play
– paint with water/water pens/aqua doodle
There are countless Pinterest boards dedicated to this stuff. Here’s a couple of mine I’ve sourced inspiration from https://pin.it/22eu7qj3c3sul5
Tip – Make sure you go through these boxes with your child before they have to do the activities independently – they will be more confident and less needy.
Here’s a couple of boxes we have going at the moment – nothing special, but enjoyed all the same.
Room Sharing and Rest/Quiet Time
This is when it gets a whooooole lot more interesting… and patience-testing!
It has taken us a while to get to a place where our 5 and 3.5 year olds can exist pretty quietly together in a room for 45 mins of the day and give me some peace. It doesn’t always happen, but most of the time it now does.
Tips when room sharing for rest/quiet time –
– Use one of those flip out couches from Kmart for the child who isn’t usually in that room but needs to rest. Provide a pillow and blanket and they’ll be ready to listen and rest for that first half an hour.
– Insist on them resting first, then doing activities. It makes for a much calmer activity time.
– Have more than one activity box available so squabbles are minimised.
– Think about what works for each child.
In our family, both kids enjoy doing LEGO but approach it in completely different ways. We’ve made a desk space for one to follow his instructions and build while the other has a floor mat/bag for creative building that gets packed away at the end of the session.
And, if all else fails and they are in desperate need of a sleep but won’t sleep with each other in the room… kick back, put your feet up between them on your bed and listen to some chilled music together. Let’s be real - it happens and I fully embrace it! There is nothing quite like the eclipse of 4 sleeping kids in the middle of the day and the ability to creep out and continue to enjoy the peace and quiet!
As your days get more full, I have found that using a little of this time (at the beginning or end) for some one on one time to develop a skill, learn a game or just have some quality time is actually really lovely too.
Hopefully there’s something in here that helps as you move into this new zone!
Good luck! X