The Toddler Years - HELP!
The fact that you are reading a blog post about parenting tells me that you are a loving parent who wants the BEST for their little person.
It often doesn’t feel like it, but YOU are the best parent for your child/ren and the best person for the task of caring for them.
I always find it helpful to remember where toddlers have been and where they are going:
Up to this point, they have been a baby who is constantly nurtured and cared for. When they have cried, a parent or carer has come to their aid immediately/as soon as possible. This has been their main way of communicating and getting a response (and it has worked!).
As a toddler/preschooler, they are now becoming more independent at 2-4 years.
This toddler/preschool zone is one of immense learning
It is also a time for some necessary unlearning for all involved.
I was here… just a few short years ago.
I have certainly had my fair share of disaster toddler moments (and I like to keep them safely in my back pocket) - I’m sure if you’re reading this as a parent of a toddler or preschooler, you have one from the past 24 hours!
Here’s a couple to make you smile/squirm:
When one of my girls was two, she ate an entire ChapStick - we only found the stub.
One time, I went to clean the toilets during the day and only got as far as putting the bleach in the bowl. I was called away to another child who needed help. In the time I was away (only felt like moments), my preschooler did a wee in the toilet but didn’t flush it. After this, one of my toddlers came and threw his brother’s alarm clock into the toilet… only to be fished out by another toddler and run through the house, dripping urine and bleach all over the floor, to bring it to me. Not a pretty sight.
I was head butted so hard (in the throes of a tantrum) that my front tooth was chipped and had to be filed by the dentist.
All this to say…. We can’t prevent the chaos that inevitably comes with having toddlers.
They want to explore through doing (as they are wired to and should do) and they have been used to a world where everything has revolved around them. (This has been necessary for their survival, when they couldn’t communicate or do anything independently).
BUT!
We CAN be proactive, which will in turn impact the way we respond (not react) to things.
It is also important that when they reach toddler-hood, it’s time for things to shift a bit, otherwise parents/carers become subject to their child’s every beckon call or whim, creating a much bigger tyrant!
GOAL: PROACTIVE PARENTING
If you are smacking, making empty threats and bargaining with a tyrant that doesn't back down… we’ve all been there.
Well, I certainly have.
Your tool box is a bit empty.
Mine empties quicker than I would like. I find it has to keep being refilled/topped up with the right tools for each season of parenting.
The great news is that there is something here for you… for your toolbox!
EVERY meltdown, every curve ball you are thrown, is an opportunity for your little person to learn and for us to grow as a parent.
Recently, I heard a dad say something profound that really stuck with me.
“It was like I woke up and realised I was in the passenger seat of my own parenting journey”.
Can you relate?
I definitely can.
We are often thrown back into survival mode as we are knocked around by what life throws at us.
Life is full/expensive/fast-paced… and we can easily be bumped from thing to thing, moment to moment, year to year, without taking control of the narrative we want to shape for our own children’s lives.
Being proactive means being the driver. The pilot, if you will.
Anyone can be proactive as a parent.
It is simply being front-footed. That means taking command of situations BEFORE they are happening to you.
It just requires a bit of forethought.
In the next few blog posts, I want to give you 3 ways you can enjoy the gift and challenge of parenting in the toddler years more, by shifting out of a reactive mode into a proactive one.
Forming a proactive perspective to the toddler years
Developing a proactive response to toddler happenings
Finding HACKS for a proactive day with toddlers (+ preschoolers +babies)
Join me in this little journey of toddler hacks and tips!
Happy reading x