The Down-Low on Room Sharing
If there was anything that once filled me with trepidation, it was thinking about having to put two of my kids in the same room. It sounds so silly and we put it off for so long, but once we did it, we soon realised that there are definite perks to sharing and it’s not to be feared.
I’m not going to lie – if i could have all my kids in their own rooms for the first few years of life I probably would, but they develop such beautiful friendships and skills that may not have developed otherwise, in a sharing environment.
We have had quite a fluid approach to rooms and combinations of sharing – I’m going to share 2 to give you some insights, tips and tricks.
But first – how to do you go about setting up the room?
Pinterest. There are so many ideas and options for large, small and odd-shaped rooms out there. Go and have a look!
Furniture needed –
Change table – We used a chest of drawers with a change pad on top rather than a bulky change table we had used previously.
Beds – 2 cots/beds or a cot and bed combo?
Full sized beds? Toddler-beds?
Toy storage – we have found shelving units with interesting shapes/shelf capacities that fit neatly into little rooms at Ikea, Kmart and the Reject Shop.
Book storage – we’ve found having a ‘basket of books’ rather than just a bookshelf handy, as books can be placed in the bed/cot for kids to read for a longer period of time without having to get in and out of bed.
We use these from Kmart as most books fit in them https://www.kmart.com.au/product/small-rectangle-basket/2106862
For babies, a little basket with a handle, full of little learning library books keeps them entertained for a good 15-20 minutes and helps establish a pattern of reading before bed/post waking up in the mornings. I love our baskets from https://bashiri.com.au/product-category/baskets-bolga/bolga-baskets/round-baskets/small-round-baskets/
Clothing storage – if you don’t have wardrobes, we have found using the cube units from IKEA to be very handy – looks neat and clothing can be combined/accessed easily. https://www.ikea.com/au/en/p/kallax-shelving-unit-white-20351884/?gclid=CjwKCAjw1v_0BRAkEiwALFkj5gPhwYq06hXz2a9nBPJDWAiXWn1aD_3Am2Sky6LYfMV5YTbdRNZEOBoCJOMQAvD_BwE
Our Current room share situation –
2 girls sharing (4 and 2.5) and 2 boys (5.5 and 18 months)
These combos are working really well.
Girls room – two junior beds https://www.ikea.com/au/en/p/sniglar-bed-frame-with-slatted-bed-base-birch-s39299396/?gclid=CjwKCAjw5Ij2BRBdEiwA0Frc9ZMrIM4cTd-Tgj6Vo3ny3c9qObxZsBFpu9_TnJRa8I4dHtHJyXTZ4hoCZm8QAvD_BwE (eventually we want them in a bunk, but they are just too little just yet, and the room only has one free wall with doors/windows/enclosed fireplace)
Boys room – one full-sized bed and a cot
The boys use a white noise machine (wave sounds) for Miles’ day sleeps and to help prevent really early morning wakings from random sounds, as our house has floor boards and is very echoey.
Questions –
Q: What if the baby cries in the night? Will this disturb my child’s sleep?
A: This was pretty much my number one reason for not moving my baby into her brother’s room. It’s amazing how deeply the child learns to sleep when there’s a baby who makes noise in the night – we’ve rarely had issues with siblings being woken up, unless it enters the early part of the morning (post 5am) – and that’s where the white noise comes in handy.
Q: What is an ideal age to start room sharing?
A: As I said previously, I wish we did it sooner.
Initial combo: Boy and baby girl – Ages: 2.5 & 1YO
This was a good combo – Saige had made it through a lot of her teething etc and Jesse was still in his cot – so 2 in cots. Saige loved the company and Jesse didn’t seem to wake up to Saige if she woke in the night.
We had to shift this combo when Jesse was in a bed and saige could climb out of her cot – they were a crazy combination so the girls moved in together and Jesse got his own room… and the calm returned!
Q: How does bedtime work? What about staggering bedtimes?
A: We’ve done bedtimes a number of ways and had mixed success with staggering bedtimes. It’s something you just have to try, and it will change with changing ages of the kids and their needs. There was a period when we would put our baby down first to sleep, and then our big boy would creep in once he was asleep (after reading his books in our bed), but then it got the stage when the baby would wait up for his big brother, so it defeated the purpose!
We’ve found that a regular routine is the best agent to get kids into bed.
At 6pm, we put gentle lullabies on in each room, as the kids are reading before they go to sleep (they read for 20-30 mins independently in their beds) and it is a great sleep-cue for them and opportunity to wind down, even if a sibling is making a bit of noise. These get turned off when we head to bed and the white noise subs in. This isn’t going to be forever, but for now, it’s really helpful for all.
10 minutes before lights out, we have ‘last stories’ where each child has their choice of book read to them before teeth, toilet a song/prayer and lights out. We find that this way, each little person feels loved, seen and attended to.
Q: How do you manage cold temperatures in a room-sharing environment?
A: We have found that having a bar or convection heater on a timer or set temperature is really effective. Particularly in rooms where there is someone in a bed with covers, as well as a baby in a cot in just a sleeping bag, you don’t want to cook one or freeze the other. We have ours set on 17 degrees, which allows for the chill to be taken out of the air, but for everyone to be rugged up.
At that temp, the big kid in bed has warm PJs and either a doona or a few layers of blankets and the baby has flannelette sheets, a singlet, flannelette pjs and a warm sleeping bag like this one https://www.skeanie.com.au/buy/baby-long-sleeve-3.0-tog-sleeping-bag-blue/UWLMB to prevent early morning wakings due to the chill-factor!
The thing is, it’s all about trial and error – like everything in parenting. Just take the plunge and see how you go! Good luck!